Find the real You

To find yourself first learn about yourself.

For an awfully long time, I believed that I could only be happy when I’d changed something about myself. For example, when I was more calm and confident, or when I stopped making mistakes and always got everything right. Only once I’d become that other person (I believed) could I stop feeling there was something wrong with me.

The truth is, I’ll likely never know exactly when or how I lost myself.

I no longer believe that we have to fix our perceived defects in order to be happy. We can be content just as we are, even when parts of our experience are difficult. And we can wish that others too have ease of being, just as they are. Either way, all the rules, the homework, the gossip, the routines, the expectations and my own beliefs about needing to be better than perfect chipped away at those parts of me, piece by piece.

But when I realized that those pieces were missing and felt that emptiness, it became my job to work toward finding myself and becoming fully me (again). I know that mindfulness, hypnotherapy and meditation are important in my life because I feel so much better when I am practicing.

Exploring mindfulness has truly transformed my life and I want to help other people do the same thing.

I find it both ironic and confusing that, as a grown-up person, I now schedule in time to relax and be alone and I make lists to help me make sure I’m taking proper care of myself. I need to remind myself to be conscious and mindful and to breathe every day and I’ve paid several lovely people lots of money to teach me meditation, hypnotherapy, self-care and mindfulness. Ironic and confusing, but also wonderful and so, so important.

When we can bring this gentle acceptance to ourselves and to others – no matter how human or unskilful our behaviour, we can let go of the added burden of (self-) criticism. This means we can use that energy elsewhere: for compassion, support and love.

How would you use this extra energy?

My body is fit and strong, my mind is calm and clear and my breath is deep and relaxed. I’m a calmer and more patient mummy. I see beauty everywhere and I feel the joy in everyday moments. Maybe the how, when and why are not so important after all. Maybe this is all a lesson in itself, that I will always be learning, re-learning, unbecoming and growing and that is okay.

It is important to understand that hypnotherapy and mindfulness are not magic wands. You have to make a 100% commitment to the changes you want to make.

Take a step closer to ‘finding yourself’ and making that commitment. You are ALWAYS in control.

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