Mindful Resistance

It is a World Book Day today! What is the connection with my work? Let me tell you!

My son went to school wearing a dress, because he wanted to be a character of David Walliams book “A boy in a dress “. I have to add that he goes to a boy school.

Still can’t see the connection?

Well, I think it takes guts to do that, it is a very brave act.

The idea came to mind few days ago, but then the resistance kicks in almost straight away.

We all experience resistance every day when we are trying to do something that matter. The mind sets up a resistances and finds excuses to avoid doing what you think you want to do.

If we feel resistance to something, one approach is simply to be aware of the resistance, without judgment or guilt. Then we can ease into the activity slowly, with an openhearted feeling that we will simply give ourselves to doing that. It’s surprising how much we can learn to enjoy what we’re doing if we are patient and open and if we just live in the present.

But we did embrace the resistance! We talked about it, we did some simple and easy meditation experiences… And slowly the idea of wearing a dress become a excitement.

The practice was published online in  Yoga Journal. A basic rephrase of this meditation practice, which is similar to a cognitive behavioral therapy exercise, is listed below.

  1. Start in a seated position that is both comfortable and alert with spine lengthened and relaxed.

  2. Think of something you are feeling resistant to, and while thinking of that thing, notice where and how the resistance shows up in your body, thoughts, and feelings.

  3. Ask the question of this resistance, “Why are you here? What do you want to tell me?” Listen without judgment if possible, to the response. You might even have a journal with you and jot down the response.

  4. Continue this process of asking and listening until you feel that the conversation is complete–you understand this resistance and why it has shown up.

  5. Then ask the resistance if it is willing to let go and what that might be like. Then, imagine what that would be like. Again notice how you feel in your body, feelings and the associated thoughts. You may also record this process in your journal noting what happens.

Some people will think that I am crazy. Pushing my son to wear dress and looks silly.

I look this from a different angle. I took this opportunity to teach my son resilience, self awareness and really “not to worry what the other thinks”.

I wish that I could be that brave sometime!❤️

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